Carers

Carers

 Writing this now is something I hoped and wished that I hadn’t had to experience ‘acting’ as the role of carer.

I use the word ‘acting’ as it’s incredibly poignant, mostly because at times when I was caring for my loved one, watching the slow deterioration over time, the physical pain, the fear in their eyes, looking for answers, answers which are impossible to provide, was the most painful thing to witness.  To avoid that pain being projected onto my loved one, to keep them feeling safe, to avoid the feeling of becoming a burden, the only way I could avoid that was to ‘act and perform’ at times to remove my emotions and insecurities from being obvious.  This challenge was incredibly hard, sad and emotionally draining for me.  So, I became good at ‘acting’, holding back my tears, fighting them back on very little sleep was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  To eventually crumble at the end of the day or when my loved one was sleeping.

The support needed for the carer is not to be underestimated, for the carer to be able to provide the care for their loved one, whether it is medical, practical or emotional support, the carer also needs a level of support to enable them to be strong for their loved one.

The fear is no doubt within the one who is sick or dying, but that fear is also within the carer, the enormity of witnessing the situation change each day, and at times hour by hour is draining, adrenalin is often the only way through to keep going.  Caring for someone you love or care for is rewarding, tiring, physically and emotional but the closeness and bond is something that would be hard to describe.

Unconditional

Blog written by our Counsellor Stephanie, who has experience working within bereavement support and couples counselling.